Mary, Queen of Sorrows

I decided to do a Mother Mary recently mainly because of the influence of my new friend and amazing artist Russelle Marcato Westbrook.  She is doing a whole series of exploring Mary and the opposites of dark and light within us all.
In the Bible, Mary was still a teenager when she was called upon to bear the Son of Man.  She became a mother in innocence, and lost her son in the height of his greatness.  She knew his fate, and had to bear the sorrow.  Mary is the one goddess that has been allowed in Christianity. She stands for compassion, nurturing, acceptance and love.  I think her archetype deeply effects women, especially mothers.
I am writing this right now as I am struggling with my son.  He is in 3rd grade and he is beginning to hate school.  He daydreams a lot and doesn't know how to handle his emotions very well.  He is a typical boy in our society. Boys are getting more and more lost everyday.  I think the Mary archetype has a lot to do with mothers and their sons.  We are losing our sons to war and violence, and we are suppose to just grin and bear it.  We are suppose to be strong and just let our sons go, at least this seems to be the underlying message from our society.  But I think it is time for Mary to wake up.
I thought I would show you a few of the work in progress pics of Mary so you can see exactly how she evolved.  Sometimes I change them and play with them a lot before they are finished.

"Mary, Queen of Sorrows"                                                  

 16x20 acrylic and ink on panel

2011

Upcoming Events

I had a great time at the Woodland Arts Fair this past weekend.  It was a little too hot, but at least it didn't rain.  Now on to September events.

September 10th:
I will be displaying my art at Open Heat Yoga studio which is located in the Unitarian Church in Lexington.  They will be having a day of free yoga, free henna and food.  I will be be there with my art and will be drawing names for free prints.  The fun starts around 10 am, hope to see you there!

September 16th:
I will be participating in the Artist Trading Card event put on by the Lexington Art League and Citizens Create.  Over 50 artists will be trading cards at the Mayor's office during the Gallery Hop.  If you are doing the hop make sure to come by and check out the fun.

October 1st:
I will be vending at the Wee Folk Fairy Festival in Covington, KY.  It is from noon to 5p.m.  This is a really fun family event.  So put on your fairy wings and come and join in on the fun.

Dakinis in bikinis...

Okay, not really dakinis in bikinis.  I just thought that would be fun to say.  Sorry I haven't wrote much in ye olde blog lately.  I usually fall into a pattern in the summer where I turn into a virtual hermit in between all the trips.  Needless to say this summer has been busy with the kids and trips, but I have managed to get some painting in here and there.
My latest obsession has been with the idea of dakinis (sometimes in bikinis I suppose). 
A dakini is a tantric deity described as a female embodiment of enlightened energy. In the Tibetan language, dakini is rendered khandroma which means 'she who traverses the sky' or 'she who moves in space'. Sometimes the term is translated poetically as 'sky dancer' or 'sky walker'.
A dakini comes in many forms and in some ways is related to angels or thought of as bird women of sorts.  In many parts of Tibet vultures are considered physical representations of dakinis.  Vultures have been revered by many ancient cultures as they are able to transmute negative energies and disease from the physical plane.
It is believed that all women are dakinis, but most do not ever realize this.  I like that dakinis are not always pure and perfectly nice, sometimes they are scary and mean too.  They are similar to the Valkyries of Norse myth. 
I feel that dakinis are muses.  I once read where the amazing visionary artist Andrew Gonzales said that he felt like all the women he painted were his dakinis.  I really understand this, because as I paint each one of my ladies I form this mystical connection with them.  They are me in part, they are my muse, and they are dakinis.
Obviously two of my favorite subjects are birds and women, so I am planning to do a whole series of dakinis I think.  Here is some progress pics of my first dakini....

I am working on the feathers around her eyes now and really loving them.  Be prepared for lots of feathered masks in the future.  I am also giving her some wings, but not really sure how I am going to make those look yet.  I hope to have her completed soon.  I am hoping to have her done and framed for the upcoming Woodland Arts fair.  I will have a booth that weekend in the lawn of Woodland Christian Church, hope to see you there!

Demeter and bees

I finally finished Demeter this week.

I lost my inspiration to work on her about three-fourths of the way through. I have been struck with that a lot lately...lack of inspiration. In fact I have been feeling very disenchanted about everything of late. I have been way too focused on the physical. Sometimes we get too wrapped up in being validated and we translate validation into how much money we are making. Like many artists, it's often feast or famine around here and mostly leaning towards the famine. It is very easy to fall into the "what's the use" thought pattern, and when you do it is very hard to find inspiration.

So that's where I was a little over a week ago. I was walking around in my backyard barefoot playing with my daughter when I stepped on a honeybee. He stung me twice on the right foot and it hurt like all get out. I got most of the stinger out, but I guess missed a small part of it. A couple of days later my foot swelled up. That little bee sting caused me a lot of trouble.

After I realized I still had some stinger left and got it out, it suddenly dawned on me that that little bee might have been sent to wake me up. I was led right to an article on the internet about the magicalness of bees. Rudolf Steiner believed that bees were sent to Earth from Venus. Venus holds the energy of the heart chakra for our solar system. Bees form their honeycomb in the patterns of hexagrams which are connected to the heiros gamos or Star of David; also a symbol for the heart chakra.

Bees are all about love and bliss. They are our example of unity consciousness and what working together for the higher good can do....produce the sweetest of life's nectar. The biggest message that came through to me was that for a bee "THEIR WORK IS THEIR BLISS".  Every time they gather nectar from a flower they are in complete ecstasy.  Wow, that is what I have been missing focusing too much on my validation.  I paint because it is blissful.  I paint because I love to paint and to create.  My focus should never be about if the paintings will sell, but about how much ecstasy I will receive from each brushstroke.

Also as I was reading about bees I came across the fact that Demeter's priestesses were called bees. Wow....very serendipitous! So I finished Demeter and included a little honeybee on her shoulder. She is dreaming of a better world, a more love centered world. She is the consciousness of the Queen Bee and she is asking for some worker bees to help create this world she is dreaming of. But the honeybees are disappearing and the world seems to be losing hope...too many of us are thinking "What's the use..."
It's time to wake up and follow our bliss.

I feel magical again, and the world is reflecting that to me. One of my magical friends Julia Inglis posted a blog about bees the other day and I noticed it last night. I wrote her to share how wonderful I thought it was that we were synchronized. She wrote a lovely blog about the Winter Solstice (she is in Australia) that has a lot to do with what I just shared. I think there is a big message to many of us to just follow our bliss right now.

I am gestating a Persephone right now. She is going to bring me a lot of bliss....

Demeter's Dream, new WIP

I don't know what it is about this time of year, but my creative spark always seems to get extinguished. I guess all I feel like doing is hanging out at the pool with the kids and drinking a beer on the patio. Ahhhh summertime :)

I finished the Cosmic Clown, but was still not completely satisfied with her. I need to take a good photo of her, but just haven't yet. I think I forced her when I just was not in the mood to paint. So I took a couple of weeks off. Then a commission came in, and I needed to get back into the swing of things. I hate to start a commission when I am in a creative slump or it ends up being forced too. This coming commission is one where I really need to connect in a heartfelt way so I decided to try a new piece to warm me up. I think it worked, I am feeling the spark light up again.

So I thought I would show you more of the whole progression of this one. She is one of those pieces that I changed a lot as I went along. Here is what I have done so far on her:

I still have a lot of details to work out on her, but I will probably start that commission now. Got to do it while I am on a creative roll :). These days I seem to need to grab it while it lasts. The kids have their last day of school today, so things are going to be different around here for awhile. Trying to paint with them around can be interesting at best with them chanting "I'm bored, there's nothing to do" in the background. I end up painting a lot into the wee hours of the night during the summer, which is okay since I don't have to get up at 6 a.m. to get them to school.

When I do finally get "Demeter's Dream" done I will write a little more about her for you. Until then, happy summer (or winter if you are in Australia).

New wip and a rant

Haven't posted much this month.  I have been real busy painting and getting ready for this coming weekend's showing and next weekend's juried art show.  I promised you a rant in the title so here goes....
People who complain about art costing too much have no idea the amount of work that goes into being an artist.  I think most people think artists just happily paint for a few hours everyday and that is it.  We also collectively have this idea that to earn lots of money we must be working extremely hard at something we hate.
I wish that all I had to do was paint, but that alone would still take up a big chunk of my time.  Each painting I do takes me anywhere from 12 to 40 hours to complete, depending on size and difficulty.  This is usually spread out over many days, painting anywhere from 3 to 6 hours a day.  Once a painting is complete I have to varnish, wire, and sometimes frame.  Varnishing alone can take me hours to do, as I seem to have bad luck with it and often have to go repaint things I messed up with the varnish.  I do all my own framing and this is by no means easy or quickly done.
The other time consuming aspect of being an artist is the copying of your work, or taking photographs, scanning, etc.  I spend a lot of time photographing my pieces.  I have to do it outside on a good weather day.  This can be challenging at best.  Then I have to edit all my pieces in Photoshop to make them as close to the real work as possible to post online.  All of this can take me anywhere from 3 to 5 hours to do, on just one piece of art.  Next you spend time uploading art to all of your websites where you sell prints, Etsy, Red Bubble, etc.  This can often take up an afternoon.
Next you have making prints, packaging prints, shipping prints, making other things to sell like pendants (this takes up lots of time).  So if you add all this up we are going over 40 hours of work a week. 
Pricing your art is one of the hardest parts of being an artist.  What is it's value?  That is a hard question.  We certainly do not get paid for our time.  Just to make a nice round $10 bucks an hour we would have to sell a $400 painting a week, every week.  Then there is the obscure question of how good is it.  We all have seen artwork that sells for thousands that we wouldn't pay $10 for, and ones that sell for $100 that seem to be worth a lot more.
My pricing is random and somewhat based on how much I am attached to the work, and the size of the piece.  I am usually flexible though, and willing to hear offers of course.
Okay, that is about it for my rant, although I haven't even mentioned the high cost of art supplies.  Most of you reading this are artists too, so I am probably preaching to the choir.  But many of my friends that are not artists, even my own husband, have no idea what I do all day.  Somehow I have to fit in cleaning the house, grocery shopping, and taking care of my kids and myself in all of this.  Oh, and I left out the self-promotion on the internet time....like this blog....there is another few hours a day, just trying to get your work out there and seen (advertising).
Okay, on to my current work in progress.  I have been experimenting with different surfaces.  This one is small because it is a sample that I got from Raymar of one of their polyflax cotton canvas panels.  It is a very nice surface that I will definately try again.  It is also what sparked my rant, because it is only 9x12 inches, but I have already put about 12 hours into painting it and am still not totally done.  Just because it is smaller than many of my other works does not mean it is worth less.  I am also really loving it, it has changed a lot already from this pic I am posting now.

New WIP, The Siren's call

Started a new painting a few days ago, just haven't gotten very far with her yet. This one is going to be similar to The Bridge in many ways. I am thinking about the siren and her haunting call. In myth she calls men and/or sailors to their deaths with her song. Of course mythical beings associated with water are always connected to the feminine consciousness and the subconcious mind. Water is like the void or the womb, where all of creation springs from.
I think that the siren's call is the call that beckons us onto the spiritual path. It calls for us to begin the journey into our subconscious, the journey of unpeeling our issues and facing our egos. The problem comes when we are not quite ready to deal with these issues.
Many people have a constant yearning for something that they can never define. In a sense, that yearning is the siren's call. Many people also choose to try and distinguish that yearning with the proverbial sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. The things that they think will get them closest to union with god/goddess, without having to face their ego. I think this is the destruction that the siren leads most men too, but she can also lead you to the destruction of your ego.
I have included an egret because they are a bird, along with other herons, that are always on the edge of the two worlds (water and land, physical and spiritual). Also there is a loon because they have a haunting call just like the siren. Here is what I have so far:





I have been struggling a lot with the background on this one. It just doesn't want to show itself fully to me yet, but I think it is starting too.

The Bridge and the Fox

I made some good progress on "The Bridge" this weekend. I am actually really happy with her so far. I am working on the wee lil' fox in it right now and having the best time. I really need to explore painting more animals. I have been almost obsessed with birds for so long, it is time to open up to more animal energy.
Fox really wanted to be in this painting. I have been seeing foxes all over the place for weeks now. Fox is not really a totem energy I have worked with much before, but it makes so much sense why she is showing up now. I originally placed fox here because she is one of the animals associated with the Faerie realm, because she is seen only at dawn and dusk. These are the times "in between" when the doors to the Faerie realm are open. But fox's connections with camouflage, shapeshifting and invisibility are quite interesting too.
All of these abilities are associated with feminine magic. According to Ted Andrews in his book "Animal Speak", there are 21 species of fox. 21 is The World card in tarot. Andrews states that this reflects that the world is "growing and shapeshifting itself into new patterns that will be beneficial".
Ancient Chinese and Native American lore both tell of beautiful maidens that can shapeshift into a fox and can be the downfall of men that fall in love with them. Again from Andrews: "This is very symbolic of the idea of magic being born within the feminine energies, and that unless a male can recognize the magic of the feminine-in himself or others-and learn to use it to shapeshift his own life, it will ultimately lead to destruction." Well that just about sums up the idea behind most of my paintings, and now I see more clearly why fox wanted to be in this one.
Here is a little peak at my lil' fox friend:




I am going to start painting the hare soon, and will try to post a little about her symbolism when I do.

New WIP and one that will never be

I usually like to finish any work I start, but lately that hasn't been the case. I use to just be able to crank out work even if I didn't feel overly in love with it as I was working on it. It seems now I have to be completely in love with what I am doing or I lose interest.
I have started two faeries over the past few weeks and have gotten more than halfway done and then got bored. Who knows, maybe someday I will finish them. I also tried to do a self portrait. I have been reading the Harry Potter series to the kids and I am completely jealous of all those wizards and their pet owls. I decided to do a portrait of me with a pet owl (and really long hair). This is as far as I got.

I did it on a scrappy piece of watercolor paper, and when I started to paint on it I suddenly remembered I hate painting on watercolor paper. The paint just dries way too fast and never looks very vibrant to me. There are a few watercolorists that can achieve vibrant color on paper, but it seems I will never be one of them. So it looks like I will never finish my owl and me.
I have started one I think I will finish though. This one will be called "The Bridge". It has to do with becoming a bridge between the worlds. The work includes a fox and hare, two animals that are only seen in the in-between times of Dawn and Dusk and are thought to lead people into the Faerie realm.

Sacred Familiar Interview

The Sacred Familiar newsletter "Within The Grove" came out today and I am very honored to be featured in it. Julia Inglis does such a wonderful job and puts a lot of hard work into writing this. Please checkout her site at www.sacredfamiliar.com



You can read the entire interview here.

Updates and good news

I always love the energy in October leading up to Samhain. I got married ten years ago on a Friday the 13th (Freyja's day) in October. I have always thought it is one of the most magical times of the year. It has been feeling especially magical for me lately.
Maybe it was the Aries full moon in Scorpio, but I am feeling the energy of the Divine Masculine. It is an energy that says "it is time to go out and make things happen". It is the energy of the Magician card, the uncovering of your personal power so you can manifest your desires in the physical world.
So here is some of the magical things that have happened just in the last week. Firstly, my work is being published right now in a book called "Angels and Goddesses". I should be receiving my copy any day and I am very excited to get it, to see my work alongside about 30 other talented artists and photographers.



Next, I have found a partner to manifest something I have dreamed about for awhile now. It is still in it's preconception phase so I won't say much about it, but it has to do with tarot (hint, hint :).

Then just yesterday I found out that I have been selected to show my artwork at next year's Divina et Femina IV. This is an international conference held in Ottawa, Ontario Canada. The keynote speaker this year will be Z. Budapest. I am over the moon about this. There will be lectures, artists, writers, all about the Divine Feminine. I am a little worried about how I am going to make it there, but it is not until the end of May, so I will try my best to make it happen.

My final great news has to do with a fabulous newsletter that will be highlighting my artwork later this week. It is a newsletter out of Australia called "The Sacred Familiar". It is a remarkable newsletter put out by Julia Inglis and Tony Esta. They run a school for the intuitive arts. I can not say enough about this beautiful newsletter. It is full of good insights, and great art. They have highlighted my talented friend Patricia Ariel a few times also. Please check them out at www.sacredfamiliar.com and sign up for the newsletter.

I hope you are all enjoying the wonders of this time of year. Happy Halloween/Samhain!

Finding Balance and Lilith

Sorry I have been incommunicado for so long around here. I am coming out of a long period of a creative dry spell that coincided with the dog days of summer. I have felt completely disconnected from my spirit and fully immersed in the physical world and the day to day lately. But as the Autumnal Equinox approached I felt the old magic starting to return. I started to paint again and started to feel the presence of Lilith. I have been working on a Lilith painting for a couple of weeks now. Lilith is a powerful ancient goddess energy. I have been working with snake energy for so long now and they have appeared over and over in my work in the last year. It is so connected with the energy of the Divine Feminine, and is what we as women are constantly working with in this present moment. It is about transmutation, and sometimes I feel like I am working overtime transmuting energies.
Women have been told for so long that they can't be too powerful. Often, as we start to finally reach the potential of our own power, we pull back. We have been taught for thousands of years to pull back. When we pull back sometimes we pull back so far we have a hard time finding that power again. Lilith is a huge symbol for this. She was a very powerful woman. She refused to submit to Adam and stood up to him, she spoke and lived her truth. For this, she was turned into a demonic witch by the Patriarchal forces that were in power.
So within the myth is the symbol of how women still today collectively fear becoming too powerful. Look at women in our world with a lot power like Hillary Clinton, Oprah, Nancy Pelosi and look at how they are portrayed by the media. I just gave a bunch of examples of powerful Liberal leaning women, but look at how Sarah Palin is portrayed in the media, and you realize it doesn't matter what her beliefs or political leanings are, a powerful woman is usually slandered repeatedly. This is what we need to transmute. We need to transmute this fear of being too powerful and the fear of what the world will do to us if we step into our place of power.
Last night during the powerful Aries full moon and Equinox, I sat in a circle with some magical sisters and felt the power of this transmutation. It is very important now more than ever for us to be in community and to draw upon each others strengths to help us reach our own potential. I feel more balanced now and aligned with the current energies.
So here is just a little sneak peek of my Lilith's face. I haven't been taking WIP pics this time. I have been so immersed in her I haven't even stopped to take pics. I have tried to capture her allure, her strength, and yet a look of fear that represents that collective fear of our own power. I still have a lot of fine details to work on, but she is getting closer to complete.



Beyond that I have just been running the kids to and from school. I recently showed at the Kentucky Showcase at Awesome Inc. in Lexington. It opened during the last Gallery Hop in town and here is little pic of me at the reception with two of my pieces.



I just cut off a bunch of hair, it was getting pretty long before. Another sign I am letting go of the old and ready for the new that is yet to come. I hope everyone else is feeling the balance return too.

Quetzalcoatl, WIP

I started a new painting this weekend and was progressing pretty quickly on her,and then got a cold today. I don't have a lot of energy to paint on her today so I thought I would post a WIP. She is a little bigger than my usual, 24x30, and I think I really like this size!

The first image is of my pencil sketch on the canvas. I do a pretty rough sketch just to know where everything is going to be. I was having a pretty hard time deciding where her back was going and if I should add butterflies or not. I erased a whole bunch at this stage.

Here she is with some color added. I have decided to change the way I had her orientated in the sketch and to get rid of the butterflies for now. I might add some at the end, but now I am thinking some kind of blackbirds flying in the distance added at the end.

Here is what she looks like right now. I have most of the elements painted in, and a whole lot of detailing to do and trying to de-sloppify some sloppy elements. I can be pretty impatient when I first start a painting. I want to get everything on the canvas quickly so I can get an idea of what it will look like. Then I go back and detail and fix my mistakes.
I am pretty happy with her so far. I know I am because I keep staring at her. Sometimes they just really captivate me, and that is when I know I am doing something right.
I am calling her Quetzalcoatl after the Mayan feathered serpent god. I will go into that more when I post the final painting. I am just really enjoying painting snakes lately. I also think the Slyvia Ji influence is even stronger in this work. I am just completely taken with her work. I know this painting has my own touch, but it is highly influenced by her amazing work.
Hopefully I will have this done within a week or two, but right now I think I just need to lay down. I worked at my daughter's preschool two days in a row last week, I am sure that is where I picked up this cold...dang it :)