Spirit Totem Drawings

I think I have mentioned in this blog before that I got my start doing art by drawing spirit guides for people.  This is basically how I learned to draw people.  About 2 years ago I decided to focus more on doing fine art, and let the guide work go.  Of course the guide work did not fully let me go.  I have struggled a little the last 2 years wondering how to bring the work back in.  A few times I thought I was ready to do it again, and then pulled it back.
Working with spirit in that way is no easy task.  I am looking into people's "stuff" and their energy and trying to make sense of it, and then drawing and painting on top of that.  With a family to raise, a house to clean, and other creations to paint, it just seemed like too much. Recently the tug to do the work has returned.  I suddenly sat down with my own name (that is the tool I use to connect with people's energies) and did a different kind of drawing.  It is a symbolic drawing more than anything, and different than just drawing the spirit guides.  Here is a little write up on my website that explains them:

These drawings contain a combination of animal and plant spirit guides, archetypal symbols, and higher dimensional energies.  Somewhat like a tarot card, these drawings trigger our subconscious mind and our deeper knowing. 

I spent many years giving tarot readings both professionally and personally and feel a deep connection to symbolism.  I feel that artists often understand the language of archetypal symbols.  With these drawings I want to create a sort of road map of your soul, almost like your own personal tarot card.

I work with your full name to uncover many of the symbols and archetypes you work with.  I use a process called Lexigramming your name to connect me with your Akashic Record, the record of your soul.  There will be a combination of about 7 animals, archetypes and/or angels in the drawing done in my unique style.  You are welcome to tell me any totems you would really like in the drawing, or you can just let me uncover them for you; or better yet, the drawing can be a combo of both.

The drawing is 8x10 inches and comes already matted in an 11x14 inch black or cream mat.  The media is graphite pencil, watercolor, and ink on cold-pressed watercolor paper.  It will also come with a note letting you know all of the symbols and their meanings.

Here are a few examples of what the drawings look like:

The faces in the drawings are more symbolic of the people's energies, a sort of combination of the goddess or god energy that they carry.  Although, the last drawing was a guide that came in and was adamant that he be drawn.

I am really feeling back in my element with this work.  I feel like a fog has lifted that I have been stuck in for the last 2 years.  I also now realize (hindsight is 20/20) that Saturn has been in Libra the last 2 years (I am a Libra) it is now starting to leave Libra and go into Scorpio.  This has really effected my life in areas of business and relationships.  I can see it as clear as day now, and it has been part of the fog that has clouded my vision when it comes to areas of my "career".

Another beautiful thing that these drawings are doing for me is helping me realize how much I really do love to draw men.  Seriously, I have only drawn women for years now.  Suddenly I am being forced to draw men again with these and I am enjoying it.  It is helping me feel more balanced actually.  I am currently working on a drawing for a man and a lot of powerful, heroic energy is coming in.  I just did his drawing but haven't added any paint yet.  I thought I would show you what it looks like in it's raw unpainted version.  I am wondering if I should just leave it like this.  I am not adding a lot of color to these, just a little watercolor, but this one almost seems perfect with no color.  We will see..... 

He reminds me of Aragorn...swoon.... ;)

If you would like to commission yourself a Totem Spirit drawing please go to my website.

Dakinis in bikinis...

Okay, not really dakinis in bikinis.  I just thought that would be fun to say.  Sorry I haven't wrote much in ye olde blog lately.  I usually fall into a pattern in the summer where I turn into a virtual hermit in between all the trips.  Needless to say this summer has been busy with the kids and trips, but I have managed to get some painting in here and there.
My latest obsession has been with the idea of dakinis (sometimes in bikinis I suppose). 
A dakini is a tantric deity described as a female embodiment of enlightened energy. In the Tibetan language, dakini is rendered khandroma which means 'she who traverses the sky' or 'she who moves in space'. Sometimes the term is translated poetically as 'sky dancer' or 'sky walker'.
A dakini comes in many forms and in some ways is related to angels or thought of as bird women of sorts.  In many parts of Tibet vultures are considered physical representations of dakinis.  Vultures have been revered by many ancient cultures as they are able to transmute negative energies and disease from the physical plane.
It is believed that all women are dakinis, but most do not ever realize this.  I like that dakinis are not always pure and perfectly nice, sometimes they are scary and mean too.  They are similar to the Valkyries of Norse myth. 
I feel that dakinis are muses.  I once read where the amazing visionary artist Andrew Gonzales said that he felt like all the women he painted were his dakinis.  I really understand this, because as I paint each one of my ladies I form this mystical connection with them.  They are me in part, they are my muse, and they are dakinis.
Obviously two of my favorite subjects are birds and women, so I am planning to do a whole series of dakinis I think.  Here is some progress pics of my first dakini....

I am working on the feathers around her eyes now and really loving them.  Be prepared for lots of feathered masks in the future.  I am also giving her some wings, but not really sure how I am going to make those look yet.  I hope to have her completed soon.  I am hoping to have her done and framed for the upcoming Woodland Arts fair.  I will have a booth that weekend in the lawn of Woodland Christian Church, hope to see you there!

The Cosmic Clown, a slow work in progress

Sometimes when I take a break from painting for a week or so, it is so hard to get back into it. I am not an artist that can just constantly paint and churn out work. I can't seem to just paint to be painting. I have to really be inspired and in my creative zone it seems. Then there is the perfectionist in me that thinks every work needs to be even better than the last one. This gets me into trouble a lot, as it is right now.
I started a new painting last week. I had no real plan with it. Honestly, I had been staring at the amazing work of Nashville artist Danielle Duer and those crazy little inky designs she does. I wanted to play around with some ink and tiny little brushes, and that's about it.
I didn't use a reference model. I usually find some pic of a fashion model and base my girl roughly off of her, but this time I made her up. I just wanted to see what happened. Well, I could not get something I liked. I gessoed and gessoed over her face. I got frustrated over and over with the way she was looking, and yet nothing I did seem to make it better. She kept seeming too masculine and not "pretty enough". This made me really think about what my real goal for the piece really was. Why do I need them to be pretty?
Once I started to think about that the whole idea for the painting came to light, and maybe ideas for future ones too. I got to thinking about expectations laid upon us, and about how we are eternally acting out these expectations. We are truly always acting, even when we are being the most real. The Internet is where we really do our best acting and Facebook seems to be our greatest stage. We present ourselves in a certain way by what we choose to show others.
So I realized this painting is frustrating me because she is reflecting me in so many ways right now. She came completely out of my subconscious and I guess this is what my subconscious wants to express in the now. I want to do a series of paintings that touch upon our many roles. Especially as women, we are expected to play so many roles...nurturer, listener, healer, warrior, provider, maid, sex kitten, the list goes on and on.
I am starting with the Cosmic Clown. In college when I was studying Western Native American cultures I was always struck by the idea of the Sacred Clown. This idea was so very important to cultures like the Lakota and the Hopi. These clowns exposed hypocrisy and arrogance before these behaviors got out of hand. Thus Sacred Clowns were considered spiritual leaders in their tribes, because they helped keep the balance in the community.
So my Cosmic Clown is a Sacred Clown, but maybe a wounded one. One that knows how important her role still is, but also knows that no one seems to care anymore about the part.
I am working really slow on her. It is not a big painting or particularly detailed, I am just having so much trouble finding the energy to finish her. I keep thinking I am going to put her on the unfinished shelf, but for some reason I don't. I know it is still because she is not perfect in my mind. Why can't I get over that expectation? Oh, those nasty expectations.......

The Phoenix Keeper finished

I finally finished up the Phoenix Keeper today and I thought I would write a bit about the symbolism of the Phoenix, but first here is what she looks like finished.

The Phoenix has appeared in myth in cultures spanning the globe, from Egypt to Japan to Native American lore.  It is always associated with the sun and usually immortality and rebirth.  This legendary bird was believed to die in its self-made flames periodically then rise again out of its own ashes (some say after three days and therefore often connected with Christ in Christianity).  Linked to the worship of the fiery sun and sun gods such as Mexico's Quetzalcoatl, it was named "a god of Phoenecia" by the Phoenician. To alchemists, it symbolized the the destruction and creation of new forms of matter along the way to the ultimate goal: the philosopher's stone.
But I wanted to show the connection of the Phoenix with the Divine Feminine.  Often the Phoenix, because it is connected to the Sun, is connected to the Sun gods and the masculine.  Once again, this is a goddess symbol that has been stolen or rather hidden.  The Phoenix is truly a symbol of the Divine Feminine that is returning now from the ashes.   Those ashes are of all the women that were burned as witches when the Patriarchy tried to stamp out the goddess once and for all.  But now many of those "witches" have returned and are bringing the Goddess back out of the ashes.

It is interesting that just recently it was all over Facebook about the news of the 13th astrological sign and that everyone's astrology sign had changed.  Well, astrologers have known about this for centuries.  The Phoenix is the 13th sign, 13 is the number of the goddess.  We are just now becoming aware of her resurrection and rebirth.

The Divine Feminine is essentially our connection to our souls.  For some reason, as human beings developed their minds, most lost their connection to their soul (I say most, because a few spiritual movements taught how to develop the mind without losing that connection like the Taoist).  Also as we developed our minds we lost our connection to nature.  The Goddess is connected to our primordial nature.  She is always connected to animals, birds, plants, and the oldest of symbols the serpents and dragons.  The serpent represents our reptilian brain that acts on instinctual impulses.  As we developed our minds the prevailing thought became that this was a part of us that needed to be conquered, the dragon that needed to be defeated.  With the goddess the snake is often showed as a companion and protector.  To have the serpent as guardian rather than adversary means that what was blind and unconscious and in its primordial state in us has been raised to consciousness.

The Phoenix in myth is often a blend of a bird and a serpent, thus making it the perfect symbol of the balance between spirit and matter.  Birds have long been associated with the goddess as they are a symbol of the spirit and are messengers of the Otherworld.  The Phoenix is a messenger bird of the goddess, and is returning to help us remember our true connection to our soul and to the soul of the Earth.  We are now being reborn into a new consciousness that is one human beings have never experience before.  We have developed our minds and can now use our spirit to raise what was unconscious to the light of consciousness.

I painted my Phoenix white to represent the purity of the soul (and I was influenced by the Phoenix in the Harry Potter movies, big fan :).  I gave her some peacock like feathers to represent the third eye opening.  Also my Keeper has 6 roses.  Six is the number of Venus and the roses can be connected to love and the heart chakra among so many other associations.

Sneak peek at Ishtar

Sorry I have been incommunicado for the last few weeks. Last week I got the worst cold I have had in a long time with a fever. Then it turned into a lovely sinus infection that I still can't completely shake. I haven't felt like painting or doing much of anything. I have read about other artists that get depressed when they have a long term illness. I somewhat understand now. When you are too sick to create it really starts to weigh on you.

I know there is more to me being sick right now than meets the eye. It has been an all around rough start to 2011 for me on the creative front. I have been questioning if I really have the energy for this or not. Wondering if I should just go get a desk job. A lot of this is just coming from the Winter Blues. January has been a rough month here in Kentucky. But I do think this illness had given me some time to ask myself what it is that I really want. The one thing I do know is it is no fun to not be able to create.

I have had a couple ideas for serpent goddesses in my head for weeks now. All this sinus pressure makes it really hard to lean over a painting, but I finally started on an Ishtar. I have been thinking a lot about the primal goddess/dragon energy. So many primal goddesses are connected to dragons, and dragons represent both spirit as they are part bird or have wings, and matter in their serpent form. Here is a little sneak peek at what I have so far on my Ishtar:

Sacred Familiar Interview

The Sacred Familiar newsletter "Within The Grove" came out today and I am very honored to be featured in it. Julia Inglis does such a wonderful job and puts a lot of hard work into writing this. Please checkout her site at www.sacredfamiliar.com



You can read the entire interview here.