The Ever changing Persephone

I showed a sketch of my "Persephone's Folly" on my Facebook fan page a couple of days ago. I started painting on her yesterday, and noticed she changed a lot. That often happens when I start painting on them, their faces change and morph on me. I was a little sad at first because there was something in the face of the sketch that I really liked. But now I am realizing there is no way to control Persephone, she is a force that can never be defined or fully understood.
Sketch with some background color added:

Beginnings of skin tone added, she changed already:

Where she is now:

Luckily I don't have to write a novel here telling you all about Persephone. We all know her story, and yet none of us really knows if she ate all those pomegrante seeds on purpose or if she was a victim (I don't think she was a victim).
One thing I am trying to bring through in this painting is the tree of life. In a lot of old paintings a snake is wrapped around a tree to signify it as the tree of life. I have a snake wrapped around Persephone and vegetation in her hair along with the look of her hair to hint to her being the tree. She represents the Underworld, the subconscious, the tree of life that connects to both the Underworld and the Upperworld.
She is also holding the fruit like a tree bearing fruit. I am also paying homage to one of my favorite painters and my favorite Persephone painting. Dante Gabriel Rossetti's "Proserpine":

The Cosmic Clown, a slow work in progress

Sometimes when I take a break from painting for a week or so, it is so hard to get back into it. I am not an artist that can just constantly paint and churn out work. I can't seem to just paint to be painting. I have to really be inspired and in my creative zone it seems. Then there is the perfectionist in me that thinks every work needs to be even better than the last one. This gets me into trouble a lot, as it is right now.
I started a new painting last week. I had no real plan with it. Honestly, I had been staring at the amazing work of Nashville artist Danielle Duer and those crazy little inky designs she does. I wanted to play around with some ink and tiny little brushes, and that's about it.
I didn't use a reference model. I usually find some pic of a fashion model and base my girl roughly off of her, but this time I made her up. I just wanted to see what happened. Well, I could not get something I liked. I gessoed and gessoed over her face. I got frustrated over and over with the way she was looking, and yet nothing I did seem to make it better. She kept seeming too masculine and not "pretty enough". This made me really think about what my real goal for the piece really was. Why do I need them to be pretty?
Once I started to think about that the whole idea for the painting came to light, and maybe ideas for future ones too. I got to thinking about expectations laid upon us, and about how we are eternally acting out these expectations. We are truly always acting, even when we are being the most real. The Internet is where we really do our best acting and Facebook seems to be our greatest stage. We present ourselves in a certain way by what we choose to show others.
So I realized this painting is frustrating me because she is reflecting me in so many ways right now. She came completely out of my subconscious and I guess this is what my subconscious wants to express in the now. I want to do a series of paintings that touch upon our many roles. Especially as women, we are expected to play so many roles...nurturer, listener, healer, warrior, provider, maid, sex kitten, the list goes on and on.
I am starting with the Cosmic Clown. In college when I was studying Western Native American cultures I was always struck by the idea of the Sacred Clown. This idea was so very important to cultures like the Lakota and the Hopi. These clowns exposed hypocrisy and arrogance before these behaviors got out of hand. Thus Sacred Clowns were considered spiritual leaders in their tribes, because they helped keep the balance in the community.
So my Cosmic Clown is a Sacred Clown, but maybe a wounded one. One that knows how important her role still is, but also knows that no one seems to care anymore about the part.
I am working really slow on her. It is not a big painting or particularly detailed, I am just having so much trouble finding the energy to finish her. I keep thinking I am going to put her on the unfinished shelf, but for some reason I don't. I know it is still because she is not perfect in my mind. Why can't I get over that expectation? Oh, those nasty expectations.......

Sneak peek at Ishtar

Sorry I have been incommunicado for the last few weeks. Last week I got the worst cold I have had in a long time with a fever. Then it turned into a lovely sinus infection that I still can't completely shake. I haven't felt like painting or doing much of anything. I have read about other artists that get depressed when they have a long term illness. I somewhat understand now. When you are too sick to create it really starts to weigh on you.

I know there is more to me being sick right now than meets the eye. It has been an all around rough start to 2011 for me on the creative front. I have been questioning if I really have the energy for this or not. Wondering if I should just go get a desk job. A lot of this is just coming from the Winter Blues. January has been a rough month here in Kentucky. But I do think this illness had given me some time to ask myself what it is that I really want. The one thing I do know is it is no fun to not be able to create.

I have had a couple ideas for serpent goddesses in my head for weeks now. All this sinus pressure makes it really hard to lean over a painting, but I finally started on an Ishtar. I have been thinking a lot about the primal goddess/dragon energy. So many primal goddesses are connected to dragons, and dragons represent both spirit as they are part bird or have wings, and matter in their serpent form. Here is a little sneak peek at what I have so far on my Ishtar:

Thinking of Red-winged Blackbirds

I often look at the world as one big tarot deck, meaning everything that happens is a symbol for something more. I especially feel this way when something happens that is on the news and effects more people than just me. I have been thinking a lot about these blackbirds that fell from the sky on New Year's Eve over Arkansas. What is the deeper meaning of this?

I am connected to Arkansas as it was the place of my birth. I was born in a small town called Mountainburg in the Ozark mountains of Northern Arkansas. Arkansas is a state that gets overlooked a lot. If it wasn't for Bill and Hillary being from there, many people would have never have even heard of it. It is a beautiful place with one of the most beautiful rivers in the world running through it, The Buffalo river. It also has some magical properties right in the heart of it. It has these incredible healing hot springs and produces a large amount of diamonds and quartz crystals all in the same area. I always felt magic when I walked outside of Hot Springs, Arkansas and would find hundreds of quartz crystals and amethyst lying naturally all over the ground. Let's just say that there is quite a lot of faerie energy there.

Then there is the fact that these blackbirds were red-winged blackbirds. I think these birds are very magical. When I was working on my painting 'The Seer" a couple of years ago I remember reading a lot about red-winged blackbirds. Here is a quote from Ted Andrew's "Animal Speak" about red-winged blackbirds:

"This bird has a red path on its wings, with a dash of yellow as well. These colors connect this bird to the level known as Binah in the Qabalistic Tree of Life. This is the level associated with the Dark Mother and the primal feminine energies. This bird has ties to all of the creative forces of nature." pg. 119 "Animal Speak" by Ted Andrews.

I have mentioned before, as I am fascinated by these three colors, that red, black, and white (yellow in the Native American tradition) are always associated with the Dark Mother, and the Faerie realm in Celtic lore. Red-winged balckbirds are indeed a very special bird and messenger from the Otherworld.

So what is the message we should be getting from thousands of them falling lifeless from the sky? Well it certainly does seem ominous at first. Certainly blackbirds have been thought to be a bearer of bad omens for centuries.

I personally think it is a message about urgency and our power to create change. The womb of the Dark mother is where all of life springs from. The creative energy emerges from the darkness into the light. It is she who holds the power of creation. When we work with her we discover our own creative force. We have to accept our darkness before we can transmute it into the light. It is time, now more than ever, for us to get this. We can create great change in the world.

I also think there is a message about understanding our deep connection to nature. Nature speaks volumes to us if we will just listen to her. She is speaking loudly to us now, are you listening?

New WIP, The Siren's call

Started a new painting a few days ago, just haven't gotten very far with her yet. This one is going to be similar to The Bridge in many ways. I am thinking about the siren and her haunting call. In myth she calls men and/or sailors to their deaths with her song. Of course mythical beings associated with water are always connected to the feminine consciousness and the subconcious mind. Water is like the void or the womb, where all of creation springs from.
I think that the siren's call is the call that beckons us onto the spiritual path. It calls for us to begin the journey into our subconscious, the journey of unpeeling our issues and facing our egos. The problem comes when we are not quite ready to deal with these issues.
Many people have a constant yearning for something that they can never define. In a sense, that yearning is the siren's call. Many people also choose to try and distinguish that yearning with the proverbial sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. The things that they think will get them closest to union with god/goddess, without having to face their ego. I think this is the destruction that the siren leads most men too, but she can also lead you to the destruction of your ego.
I have included an egret because they are a bird, along with other herons, that are always on the edge of the two worlds (water and land, physical and spiritual). Also there is a loon because they have a haunting call just like the siren. Here is what I have so far:





I have been struggling a lot with the background on this one. It just doesn't want to show itself fully to me yet, but I think it is starting too.

The Guardians, new WIP

Well the summer is almost over and I have felt uninspired most of the time. I had to paint a couple of paintings for upcoming themed exhibits. One was for the Tomato Art Festival in East Nashville on August 14th and the other was for a traveling exhibit called "The Womanly Art" that is being put on by the Southern Indiana La Leche League. Although I was very excited to paint both of these, my inspiration was slow to come, and both works took me longer than I had originally planned. Both works are finished now and posted on my redbubble profile.
I have had another work in my mind for weeks now. I had to wait to start her until I was finished with the before mentioned works. That was slightly hard for me. This painting began to permeate my every thought. I think I learned a lesson in patience though. I felt like I let the idea grow for awhile in my womb before I finally got to birth her, and I think the work is better because of this.
The piece is about the shift of consciousness that we are all going through right now. The energy is shifting all around us, whether we realize it or not. This work carries along the themes of "I Feel Fragile Today". The energies are going through us and we feel uncomfortable because we feel we are changing, but we don't really know what is happening to us. In this work I am trying to show that it is our connection to nature that will help guide us through this change.
The Guardians is a large 2x3 foot acrylic on canvas. Here she is in the early sketch phase.


And here is a detail of her face.


Here she is with the face coming to life and a bit of color in the background.


And then I worked her face some more. This is what she looks like right now.


I started painting her yesterday and was up way too late working on her. I am feeling like I am in complete painting bliss with her. I have a lot of detail to do on her that might take me a few weeks and I have a couple of trips coming up to see family. My kids start school again, already, in about 2 weeks. My time to paint is going to really open up then. I feel the Fall will bring lots of creations.