Mary, Queen of Sorrows

I decided to do a Mother Mary recently mainly because of the influence of my new friend and amazing artist Russelle Marcato Westbrook.  She is doing a whole series of exploring Mary and the opposites of dark and light within us all.
In the Bible, Mary was still a teenager when she was called upon to bear the Son of Man.  She became a mother in innocence, and lost her son in the height of his greatness.  She knew his fate, and had to bear the sorrow.  Mary is the one goddess that has been allowed in Christianity. She stands for compassion, nurturing, acceptance and love.  I think her archetype deeply effects women, especially mothers.
I am writing this right now as I am struggling with my son.  He is in 3rd grade and he is beginning to hate school.  He daydreams a lot and doesn't know how to handle his emotions very well.  He is a typical boy in our society. Boys are getting more and more lost everyday.  I think the Mary archetype has a lot to do with mothers and their sons.  We are losing our sons to war and violence, and we are suppose to just grin and bear it.  We are suppose to be strong and just let our sons go, at least this seems to be the underlying message from our society.  But I think it is time for Mary to wake up.
I thought I would show you a few of the work in progress pics of Mary so you can see exactly how she evolved.  Sometimes I change them and play with them a lot before they are finished.

"Mary, Queen of Sorrows"                                                  

 16x20 acrylic and ink on panel

2011

Demeter's Dream, new WIP

I don't know what it is about this time of year, but my creative spark always seems to get extinguished. I guess all I feel like doing is hanging out at the pool with the kids and drinking a beer on the patio. Ahhhh summertime :)

I finished the Cosmic Clown, but was still not completely satisfied with her. I need to take a good photo of her, but just haven't yet. I think I forced her when I just was not in the mood to paint. So I took a couple of weeks off. Then a commission came in, and I needed to get back into the swing of things. I hate to start a commission when I am in a creative slump or it ends up being forced too. This coming commission is one where I really need to connect in a heartfelt way so I decided to try a new piece to warm me up. I think it worked, I am feeling the spark light up again.

So I thought I would show you more of the whole progression of this one. She is one of those pieces that I changed a lot as I went along. Here is what I have done so far on her:

I still have a lot of details to work out on her, but I will probably start that commission now. Got to do it while I am on a creative roll :). These days I seem to need to grab it while it lasts. The kids have their last day of school today, so things are going to be different around here for awhile. Trying to paint with them around can be interesting at best with them chanting "I'm bored, there's nothing to do" in the background. I end up painting a lot into the wee hours of the night during the summer, which is okay since I don't have to get up at 6 a.m. to get them to school.

When I do finally get "Demeter's Dream" done I will write a little more about her for you. Until then, happy summer (or winter if you are in Australia).

The Cosmic Clown, a slow work in progress

Sometimes when I take a break from painting for a week or so, it is so hard to get back into it. I am not an artist that can just constantly paint and churn out work. I can't seem to just paint to be painting. I have to really be inspired and in my creative zone it seems. Then there is the perfectionist in me that thinks every work needs to be even better than the last one. This gets me into trouble a lot, as it is right now.
I started a new painting last week. I had no real plan with it. Honestly, I had been staring at the amazing work of Nashville artist Danielle Duer and those crazy little inky designs she does. I wanted to play around with some ink and tiny little brushes, and that's about it.
I didn't use a reference model. I usually find some pic of a fashion model and base my girl roughly off of her, but this time I made her up. I just wanted to see what happened. Well, I could not get something I liked. I gessoed and gessoed over her face. I got frustrated over and over with the way she was looking, and yet nothing I did seem to make it better. She kept seeming too masculine and not "pretty enough". This made me really think about what my real goal for the piece really was. Why do I need them to be pretty?
Once I started to think about that the whole idea for the painting came to light, and maybe ideas for future ones too. I got to thinking about expectations laid upon us, and about how we are eternally acting out these expectations. We are truly always acting, even when we are being the most real. The Internet is where we really do our best acting and Facebook seems to be our greatest stage. We present ourselves in a certain way by what we choose to show others.
So I realized this painting is frustrating me because she is reflecting me in so many ways right now. She came completely out of my subconscious and I guess this is what my subconscious wants to express in the now. I want to do a series of paintings that touch upon our many roles. Especially as women, we are expected to play so many roles...nurturer, listener, healer, warrior, provider, maid, sex kitten, the list goes on and on.
I am starting with the Cosmic Clown. In college when I was studying Western Native American cultures I was always struck by the idea of the Sacred Clown. This idea was so very important to cultures like the Lakota and the Hopi. These clowns exposed hypocrisy and arrogance before these behaviors got out of hand. Thus Sacred Clowns were considered spiritual leaders in their tribes, because they helped keep the balance in the community.
So my Cosmic Clown is a Sacred Clown, but maybe a wounded one. One that knows how important her role still is, but also knows that no one seems to care anymore about the part.
I am working really slow on her. It is not a big painting or particularly detailed, I am just having so much trouble finding the energy to finish her. I keep thinking I am going to put her on the unfinished shelf, but for some reason I don't. I know it is still because she is not perfect in my mind. Why can't I get over that expectation? Oh, those nasty expectations.......

The Phoenix Keeper finished

I finally finished up the Phoenix Keeper today and I thought I would write a bit about the symbolism of the Phoenix, but first here is what she looks like finished.

The Phoenix has appeared in myth in cultures spanning the globe, from Egypt to Japan to Native American lore.  It is always associated with the sun and usually immortality and rebirth.  This legendary bird was believed to die in its self-made flames periodically then rise again out of its own ashes (some say after three days and therefore often connected with Christ in Christianity).  Linked to the worship of the fiery sun and sun gods such as Mexico's Quetzalcoatl, it was named "a god of Phoenecia" by the Phoenician. To alchemists, it symbolized the the destruction and creation of new forms of matter along the way to the ultimate goal: the philosopher's stone.
But I wanted to show the connection of the Phoenix with the Divine Feminine.  Often the Phoenix, because it is connected to the Sun, is connected to the Sun gods and the masculine.  Once again, this is a goddess symbol that has been stolen or rather hidden.  The Phoenix is truly a symbol of the Divine Feminine that is returning now from the ashes.   Those ashes are of all the women that were burned as witches when the Patriarchy tried to stamp out the goddess once and for all.  But now many of those "witches" have returned and are bringing the Goddess back out of the ashes.

It is interesting that just recently it was all over Facebook about the news of the 13th astrological sign and that everyone's astrology sign had changed.  Well, astrologers have known about this for centuries.  The Phoenix is the 13th sign, 13 is the number of the goddess.  We are just now becoming aware of her resurrection and rebirth.

The Divine Feminine is essentially our connection to our souls.  For some reason, as human beings developed their minds, most lost their connection to their soul (I say most, because a few spiritual movements taught how to develop the mind without losing that connection like the Taoist).  Also as we developed our minds we lost our connection to nature.  The Goddess is connected to our primordial nature.  She is always connected to animals, birds, plants, and the oldest of symbols the serpents and dragons.  The serpent represents our reptilian brain that acts on instinctual impulses.  As we developed our minds the prevailing thought became that this was a part of us that needed to be conquered, the dragon that needed to be defeated.  With the goddess the snake is often showed as a companion and protector.  To have the serpent as guardian rather than adversary means that what was blind and unconscious and in its primordial state in us has been raised to consciousness.

The Phoenix in myth is often a blend of a bird and a serpent, thus making it the perfect symbol of the balance between spirit and matter.  Birds have long been associated with the goddess as they are a symbol of the spirit and are messengers of the Otherworld.  The Phoenix is a messenger bird of the goddess, and is returning to help us remember our true connection to our soul and to the soul of the Earth.  We are now being reborn into a new consciousness that is one human beings have never experience before.  We have developed our minds and can now use our spirit to raise what was unconscious to the light of consciousness.

I painted my Phoenix white to represent the purity of the soul (and I was influenced by the Phoenix in the Harry Potter movies, big fan :).  I gave her some peacock like feathers to represent the third eye opening.  Also my Keeper has 6 roses.  Six is the number of Venus and the roses can be connected to love and the heart chakra among so many other associations.

The Phoenix Keeper...getting closer.

I am getting so close to being done with her.  I am having a great time with this one.  I really love the colors.  I am a sucker for green/red or turquoise/rose together.  Here is what I have right now.  When she is all done I plan to write a whole bunch about the Phoenix and it's ancient symbolism, I am sure you will be waiting with bated breathe ;).

The Guardians, new WIP

Well the summer is almost over and I have felt uninspired most of the time. I had to paint a couple of paintings for upcoming themed exhibits. One was for the Tomato Art Festival in East Nashville on August 14th and the other was for a traveling exhibit called "The Womanly Art" that is being put on by the Southern Indiana La Leche League. Although I was very excited to paint both of these, my inspiration was slow to come, and both works took me longer than I had originally planned. Both works are finished now and posted on my redbubble profile.
I have had another work in my mind for weeks now. I had to wait to start her until I was finished with the before mentioned works. That was slightly hard for me. This painting began to permeate my every thought. I think I learned a lesson in patience though. I felt like I let the idea grow for awhile in my womb before I finally got to birth her, and I think the work is better because of this.
The piece is about the shift of consciousness that we are all going through right now. The energy is shifting all around us, whether we realize it or not. This work carries along the themes of "I Feel Fragile Today". The energies are going through us and we feel uncomfortable because we feel we are changing, but we don't really know what is happening to us. In this work I am trying to show that it is our connection to nature that will help guide us through this change.
The Guardians is a large 2x3 foot acrylic on canvas. Here she is in the early sketch phase.


And here is a detail of her face.


Here she is with the face coming to life and a bit of color in the background.


And then I worked her face some more. This is what she looks like right now.


I started painting her yesterday and was up way too late working on her. I am feeling like I am in complete painting bliss with her. I have a lot of detail to do on her that might take me a few weeks and I have a couple of trips coming up to see family. My kids start school again, already, in about 2 weeks. My time to paint is going to really open up then. I feel the Fall will bring lots of creations.

Tiamat-finished

Well, at least I think I am done with her. I worked and worked on her, and changed elements on it over and over. I think I am fairly happy with how she turned out, but my self critic was out in full force with this one towards the end.

I wanted to go into some of the symbolism and my reasoning on this one. Tiamat is usually drawn as a three headed dragon, but I wanted to do this with my own impressions on the myth, and not rely on what I could read in Wikipedia. In the Sumerian myth the generation of creator gods that Tiamat is a part of is referred to as the "Ancient Ones". I believe that these Ancient Ones might have been another race, maybe like the Elven or an Elder race. A less fanciful idea is that they were a matriarchal people that were overtaken by a more warrior-like Patriarchal people. Again the passage that inspired the piece:
"Know that Tiamat seeks ever to rise to the stars, and when the upper is united with the lower, then a New Age will come to the Earth, and the Serpent shall be made whole again, and the waters will be as One."
I believe that this passage is talking a lot about humans having the ability to walk in both worlds, or uniting the spiritual and the material parts of ourselves. This is what we are all asked to do right now. I personally find it a very hard task. I seem to swing from one world to the next, and can not remain in both at once very often.
The stars represent the spiritual, and the lower world is our lower selves, or material selves. Tiamat seeks to rise to the stars, but is held down because the serpent is not one. I represent the serpent in this painting with a coral snake in an ouroboros style. The ouroboros is a well known symbol of the goddess energy. It's mouth represents it's positive active energy, and it's tail represents it's passive negative energy. When it bites it's own tail it is neutralized, it becomes the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I used a coral snake here because they are venomous. When it reaches it's tail it will be one, and neutralized. The masculine aggressive energy neutralized by the feminine.
There are many myths all over the world of an ancient race of wise people known as Serpents or Dragons. I believe this is why Tiamat was called a Dragon, she was part of these ancient wise people that possibly disappeared when the Patriarchal societies took over. Also, the ley lines that run under the earth are often referred to as Dragons. We must be able to converse with these Dragons under the ground and with the stars above to bring on the New Age. Many of those myths that talk about the ancient wise serpent people talk about them retreating underground, like in the myths of the Tuatha de Danann. So maybe they are or were physical beings that went "underground", or maybe they are the Dragon energy that runs through the arteries of our great Gaia. It is something I ponder a lot.
In the painting behind Tiamat's masculine side is a pair of ducks. Ducks represent an energy that lives in water, on land, and in the sky. They are showing us how to walk in both worlds. On her feminine side there is lost of plants and Earth energy. It is the energy of the Earth that helps us connect to the Feminine energy needed to neutralize our abundance of material energy.
Tiamat has three eyes instead of three heads here I suppose. The third eye of course is an Eastern symbol for obtaining inner vision and wisdom. The mist surrounding her represents the veil that surrounds us all and keeps us from seeing beyond the physical world. She is also rising up out of the ocean, or the unconscious. This is what the goddess has been doing for sometime now, rising out of the depths of our unconscious. Tiamat is one of the most ancient goddesses known. When she has fully risen out of our collective unconscious, a New Age will truly be upon us.

The Seer

A 22x24 acrylic on canvas. This is the second in a small series I am doing on the different levels on the spiritual path. This is the Seer. She has begun the process of connecting to her spiritual gifts. She is now eternally walking "between the worlds". This means she has delved into her subconscious mind and has brought light into the darkness. The subconscious mind is represented by the Underworld here and the color red. There is a thin veil, or mist between the two worlds and the doorway in between seems to be her own mind.

The Peacock feather rests at her third eye. Obviously the peacock feather represents the third eye, but it also carries on the theme of alchemy presented with the Seeker. All of the different metals are represented in the peacock feather and it also looks very much like the core of a crystal. Peacocks are also a symbol for transmutation. At this stage on the path the Seer is a trans muter like the peacock. She is constantly transmuting negative energies around her even if she doesn't realize it. Though the Seer is presented with many gifts and can see into worlds others can not, this is the hardest step along the path. She is constantly tested and always teetering on the edge of self-confidence and doubt. She has to find her center point constantly to stay afloat.

Red-winged blackbirds fly out of the Underworld and all around her. Black and Red along with yellow and white are archetypal colors for Mother Earth and the Underworld of creation. According to Ted Andrews in "Animal Speak" the red-winged blackbird's colors connect it to the level known as Binah on the Qabalistic Tree of Life. This is the level associated with the Dark Mother and the primal feminine energies. In a sense, the Seer is releasing these energies into creation. She is the bridge between the worlds that can help these energies return to the Earth.