"Nimue", a white hart, and a goat?

"Nimue"

16x20 acrylic on masonite

2012

Tammy Mae Moon

I finally got to finish this up this week.  I have been working on it in spurts for weeks now.  My original plan was to paint Nimue, one of the names for the Lady of the Lake, and a white hart.  While I was working on her a goat appeared, and I really had no idea why at the time.  It wasn't until I really started to think about the symbolism of the goat that it hit me why he was there.  I figured I had better do some "splaining".

First, Nimue is a goddess that has always intrigued me.  We know that she was one of the ladies of the lake, and that she was an enchantress.  Supposedly she used her feminine ways to seduce the great wizard Merlin into teaching her all of his magic, then she used this magic to entrap him in a tower, or in some stories a hawthorn tree.  Some of you may remember one of my older works from 2009 "Merlin and Nimue":

 You can imagine how the Patriarchy loved this tale of an evil temptress destroying the powers of the greatest wizard.  One who really studies the writings of the courtly love era, the Camelot myths, certainly will understand the story differently though.   The writers of these Courtly love tales believed that all women were to be honored as the goddess, and it was through the love of the goddess that man transcended this world and became immortal.

Merlin would have been able to predict his own death, and yet he willingly hung out with Nimue. In one tale Nimue changes him into a hawthorn tree. The hawthorn tree to the ancient Celts was the symbol for the chalice itself (the Holy Grail). It held the divine secrets of everlasting life. Therefore Merlin became one with those divine secrets by way of Nimue (the goddess).


Now the white hart appears a lot in Camelot myths too.  Usually it is the hunt for the white hart that leads the knights into the forest, or the Otherworld.  It represents the legendary beast of the chase and represents both heavenly and earthly love and is similar to the symbol of the unicorn in medieval lore.  It represents innocence, and the goddess of the land.  It leads you into the Otherworld where you will be forever changed.


The goat has been a strong symbol through out history.  It was sacrificed routinely by ancient cultures so it represents sacrifice.  But it is also represented by strong virile, wild male gods like Pan.  Of course we have all used the phrase "horny old goat".  Goats represent that wild, sexual, masculine energy that drives the world to procreate.


So these two animals represent two facets of Nimue.  That innocent, pure feminine goddess of the land, and that wild, evil, sexual temptress that she has become and the goat represents the sacrifice of the land.  In between these two animals is a healthy large heart.  The heart of the goddess being fed by opposites.


So there is some of my thoughts on this one, at least the ones I can form somewhat coherently.

Happy New Year and last painting of 2011.

I spent New Year's Eve day trying to finish my Psyche.  I started her a few weeks back, and I felt like she needed to be done before 2012.  So I barely got her finished before it was time to start ringing in the New Year.     So here she is:

"Psyche's Abandonment"

24x36 acrylic on canvas

$600.00

I think this painting sums up my 2011 in some ways.  It was a year that on some levels seemed uneventful.  I often felt like I was just going through the motions this year, and have often felt very unconnected to my spiritual self.  I almost felt like my psyche (or soul) had abandoned me.  But as 2012 approached and as I was working on this painting a new light is being birthed in me.  I can not really described it, but I know there is something re-awakening in me that has been hibernating for awhile.  

I am excited for the New Year and the direction that I want to take my art in.  I am being drawn to a lot of Christian/Gnostic imagery right now and I plan to mix it up with Pagan myth like I did in this Psyche painting.  I have some big plans for paintings, and yet I am going to have less time to paint.  I am now working at a Law office part time to make some extra money.  I am not happy about the loss of painting time, and yet I feel that making some steady money will take some pressure off of me with my art.  I do think when you are a professional artist it is easy to fall into a trap of "painting what you think will sell".  I look forward to creating out of a space of love instead out of space of survival issues this year.  

I hope you all find that Creative space of love this year.  Happy 2012!

The Birch Tree Spirit

The Birch Tree Spirit

12x16 acrylic on panel

I was originally inspired to do a Birch tree spirit after reading the book called "Celtic Tree Mysteries, Secrets of the Ogham" by Steve Blamires.    Blamires discussed in depth how the ancient Celts saw trees on physical, mental, and spiritual planes.  In Celtic shamanism trees are worked with much like animal spirit guides are in Native American shamanism.  Each tree has a spirit and a message for us and can be our allies in the Otherworld.

Birch is the first tree in the Ogham, and the one that I am most drawn to right now.  Birch trees can grow in places that other trees can not.  Infact, the Birch tree is often the colonizer of new forests.  It's leaves are light and it's bark peels off easily and falls to the ground.  It feeds and fertilizes the soil around it so that other life can grow.  It helps other trees such as Oak and Beech to grow in places they would not otherwise.  But eventually the other trees grow taller than the Birch depriving it of light and killing it off.  Therefore the Birch is a tree of new beginnings, and a tree that sacrifices itself for the benefit of others.

Birch is a wonderful tree to work with when you are starting something new or change is upon you.  Meditating on it's self-sacrificing character is very healing, for the Birch is also regenerating and has life-giving properties.  She is a true goddess tree and we can  learn a lot from this silvery lady of the woods.

Reflecting on how far I have come

I was cleaning out my basement studio space last night and came across some old drawings from 3 to 4 years ago.  I did not start posting my work online until late 2008.  I have only felt like a "professional artist" in the last 2 years or so.  Before then I just fooled around with soft pastels.  I use to do spirit drawings for people and that was really how I began drawing people.
I came across a pastel drawing I did of White Buffalo Calf Woman in early 2008.  I was so struck with how rudimentary it seemed to me now.  I always loved to draw, and I always felt like I had some inkling of talent in me.  But now I really understand that talent in art is simply discipline in some ways.  When you work out everyday you eventually get a very toned body.  Art is the same way.  Sometimes it takes years to get very toned, but it takes doing it everyday.
For the last three years I have been painting or drawing something almost constantly.  I think I am finally starting to get some art muscle, although I am sure I will look back 3 years from now and think my current work is rudimentary (I hope so).
I wanted to post this picture of White Buffalo Calf woman for those that have just started drawing, or for those that don't think their art is very good.  Hang in there and practice everyday, you will get better.  Really all it takes is wanting it, and as I am sure most of you artists will agree....wanting it more than almost anything else.

                                               and here is what all my faeries use to look like :

LA show Nov.18th and Big SALE

If you haven't noticed yet, I started a big Half Off Sale on my website of older works.  The sale started on Oct.11th and runs until Oct. 18th.  There are currently only about 4 paintings left that are on sale, so go check it out at www.moonspiralart.com
The main reason I decided to have a sale right now is I am trying to raise money to go to LA on Nov.18th.  Many of my works will be in an exhibition to launch the Forgotten Goddess company.  I am really excited about this for multiple reasons.  For one, it will be my first time to show in LA and my very first trip to California (can you believe it....I don't get out much).  I am also really excited about being there to help launch the Forgotten Goddess.  I think many of us have dreamed of a company like this, one that empowers women and sells beautiful goddess art and other products along with inspiring others to create.  I am so happy to be involved with this company.  Russelle Marcato Westbrook and Jenni Ogden Klein are two amazing women with a visionary plan, and I am very grateful they found me and have supported me and my work the way they have.

So, I am going to be at the opening of the Forgotten Goddess exhibition on Nov.18th at the Rico Adair Gallery in Studio City (I guess that is in North Hollywood).  I know some of you that read my blog and follow me are from California, I would be overjoyed to see some of you at the show.
Thank you to all of you who bought paintings this week and helped me to make this trip a reality.

Mary, Queen of Sorrows

I decided to do a Mother Mary recently mainly because of the influence of my new friend and amazing artist Russelle Marcato Westbrook.  She is doing a whole series of exploring Mary and the opposites of dark and light within us all.
In the Bible, Mary was still a teenager when she was called upon to bear the Son of Man.  She became a mother in innocence, and lost her son in the height of his greatness.  She knew his fate, and had to bear the sorrow.  Mary is the one goddess that has been allowed in Christianity. She stands for compassion, nurturing, acceptance and love.  I think her archetype deeply effects women, especially mothers.
I am writing this right now as I am struggling with my son.  He is in 3rd grade and he is beginning to hate school.  He daydreams a lot and doesn't know how to handle his emotions very well.  He is a typical boy in our society. Boys are getting more and more lost everyday.  I think the Mary archetype has a lot to do with mothers and their sons.  We are losing our sons to war and violence, and we are suppose to just grin and bear it.  We are suppose to be strong and just let our sons go, at least this seems to be the underlying message from our society.  But I think it is time for Mary to wake up.
I thought I would show you a few of the work in progress pics of Mary so you can see exactly how she evolved.  Sometimes I change them and play with them a lot before they are finished.

"Mary, Queen of Sorrows"                                                  

 16x20 acrylic and ink on panel

2011

Finished "Dakini"

 

Dakini

14x18 acrylic, ink, gold leaf paint

on gessoed hardboard panel

Demeter's Dream, new WIP

I don't know what it is about this time of year, but my creative spark always seems to get extinguished. I guess all I feel like doing is hanging out at the pool with the kids and drinking a beer on the patio. Ahhhh summertime :)

I finished the Cosmic Clown, but was still not completely satisfied with her. I need to take a good photo of her, but just haven't yet. I think I forced her when I just was not in the mood to paint. So I took a couple of weeks off. Then a commission came in, and I needed to get back into the swing of things. I hate to start a commission when I am in a creative slump or it ends up being forced too. This coming commission is one where I really need to connect in a heartfelt way so I decided to try a new piece to warm me up. I think it worked, I am feeling the spark light up again.

So I thought I would show you more of the whole progression of this one. She is one of those pieces that I changed a lot as I went along. Here is what I have done so far on her:

I still have a lot of details to work out on her, but I will probably start that commission now. Got to do it while I am on a creative roll :). These days I seem to need to grab it while it lasts. The kids have their last day of school today, so things are going to be different around here for awhile. Trying to paint with them around can be interesting at best with them chanting "I'm bored, there's nothing to do" in the background. I end up painting a lot into the wee hours of the night during the summer, which is okay since I don't have to get up at 6 a.m. to get them to school.

When I do finally get "Demeter's Dream" done I will write a little more about her for you. Until then, happy summer (or winter if you are in Australia).

Coimimeadh comes out of nowhere

This has been an odd month to say the least. Like everyone else I have been busy getting ready for the Holiday, and then the energy of this month has really been wacky. The mix of Venus in Scorpio making me feel sorry for myself with Mercury Retrograde blocking my abilities to communicate my feelings has been tough. I have been feeling completely uninspired in some ways, and that is where the feeling sorry for myself comes in. I keep trying to start paintings and then getting angry because I can't do what I want to do and trashing them. I started a Rhiannon and I was struggling making her look right.
Sometimes I have trouble when I try to put too much into one painting. Although I would like to do more illustrative scenes, I seem to be better at doing portraiture and keeping the backgrounds simple. When I try to add too much to the scene the work just seems to become a jumbled mess, and this is what happened to Rhiannon. I had to walk away from her, but I had this overwhelming desire to paint something and I was out of canvas. I found one of the faeries I started a couple of months back and didn't finish. At the time she was just a faerie with a sort of Klimt like cloak over her. A couple of months ago I got completely bored with her, and yet suddenly I looked at her and fell in love with her again.
I started working on her again and finished her within a couple of days. I added a barn owl, and then felt like I was looking at my co-walker. In the Faerie Tradition you meditate or journey to the Otherworld or Faerie realm as a sort of Shamanic practice. One of the practices is to meet and work with your co-walker, or Coimimeadh in Gaelic. This co-walker is like your double on the otherside and by working with them you form a sort of symbiotic relationship in which you both grow by bringing the energies of the other's world into your own.



I am actually a little shocked that I was able to bring her forth right now. I think it was because I needed to see her right now, to bring her into the physical. I am feeling my inspiration coming back now. The barn owl is also my spirit animal that I often meet on my journeys to the Otherworld and she appears in many of my paintings.
So I am starting to feel the return of the light, but still Mercury Retrograde bit me yesterday. The ignition switch on my car went out in the YMCA parking lot. Although it is a bad time of the year to deal with car trouble (like there is ever a good time) part of me is laughing.
Hope everyone else is dodging Mercury this time around, Merry Yule!

The Hare and The Bridge

I finished painting The Bridge today and will start posting her places later. First I thought I would write a little about the Hare since I covered the Fox in my last post. The hare is connected to the moon in many cultures (as you can see a hare in the moon). It is also connected to the Faerie realm like the Fox, as it is mainly seen at Dusk and Dawn.
Many moon, hunting, and love and fertility goddesses are also connected to the Hare. The Hare is a very strong symbol of ancient feminine magic and the Otherworld. The hare symbolizes fertility and new life. The goddess herself represents the energy of nature and the ever-turning cycles of birth and rebirth. Therefore it makes perfect sense that the hare is so connected to the goddess as the hare is an animal that is prey to almost every predator, and yet it's hightened fertility allows it to be reborn again and again.
I was born during the year of the Hare in Chinese astrology and that is probably another reason why I am so obsessed with the moon, that and my moon was in Cancer.
Here is a not so great pic of my lil' Hare in "The Bridge":

The Bridge and the Fox

I made some good progress on "The Bridge" this weekend. I am actually really happy with her so far. I am working on the wee lil' fox in it right now and having the best time. I really need to explore painting more animals. I have been almost obsessed with birds for so long, it is time to open up to more animal energy.
Fox really wanted to be in this painting. I have been seeing foxes all over the place for weeks now. Fox is not really a totem energy I have worked with much before, but it makes so much sense why she is showing up now. I originally placed fox here because she is one of the animals associated with the Faerie realm, because she is seen only at dawn and dusk. These are the times "in between" when the doors to the Faerie realm are open. But fox's connections with camouflage, shapeshifting and invisibility are quite interesting too.
All of these abilities are associated with feminine magic. According to Ted Andrews in his book "Animal Speak", there are 21 species of fox. 21 is The World card in tarot. Andrews states that this reflects that the world is "growing and shapeshifting itself into new patterns that will be beneficial".
Ancient Chinese and Native American lore both tell of beautiful maidens that can shapeshift into a fox and can be the downfall of men that fall in love with them. Again from Andrews: "This is very symbolic of the idea of magic being born within the feminine energies, and that unless a male can recognize the magic of the feminine-in himself or others-and learn to use it to shapeshift his own life, it will ultimately lead to destruction." Well that just about sums up the idea behind most of my paintings, and now I see more clearly why fox wanted to be in this one.
Here is a little peak at my lil' fox friend:




I am going to start painting the hare soon, and will try to post a little about her symbolism when I do.

New WIP and one that will never be

I usually like to finish any work I start, but lately that hasn't been the case. I use to just be able to crank out work even if I didn't feel overly in love with it as I was working on it. It seems now I have to be completely in love with what I am doing or I lose interest.
I have started two faeries over the past few weeks and have gotten more than halfway done and then got bored. Who knows, maybe someday I will finish them. I also tried to do a self portrait. I have been reading the Harry Potter series to the kids and I am completely jealous of all those wizards and their pet owls. I decided to do a portrait of me with a pet owl (and really long hair). This is as far as I got.

I did it on a scrappy piece of watercolor paper, and when I started to paint on it I suddenly remembered I hate painting on watercolor paper. The paint just dries way too fast and never looks very vibrant to me. There are a few watercolorists that can achieve vibrant color on paper, but it seems I will never be one of them. So it looks like I will never finish my owl and me.
I have started one I think I will finish though. This one will be called "The Bridge". It has to do with becoming a bridge between the worlds. The work includes a fox and hare, two animals that are only seen in the in-between times of Dawn and Dusk and are thought to lead people into the Faerie realm.

WIP "Deirdre of the Sorrows"

A couple of weeks ago I decided to start working on a Deirdre of the Sorrows. Deirdre is one of the most tragic characters of Pre-Christian Irish Myth. Her story comes from the Ulster cycle and has all the makings of a classic fairy tale, except for a very unhappy ending. I originally just wanted to paint a Celtic goddess that was known for her otherworldly beauty and was drawn to Deirdre. Her story is a little bit like Helen of Troy, a beautiful woman that causes the ruin of kings and warriors, but the symbolism of the story is so rich I couldn't resist painting it.
There are many versions of this story, at least 5 plays and 4 books have been written about her, and although the stories vary slightly, the basic theme is the same. So Deirdre is born to a royal storyteller in the court of the king Conchobar. A Druid priest prophesied when she was born that she would be the ruin of the king and the kingdom because of her great beauty. She was almost put to death for this, but the king was so intrigued by her future beauty that he decided to keep her alive and marry her when she grew up. He placed her in foster care hidden away from others.
Here is where the story starts to intrigue me. She lives in a house hidden under the ground (faerie dwelling=sidhe) and is mainly cared for by an old woman named Leabharcham. Leabharcham is the wise crone goddess and/or possibly a high priestess of the old ways. One day Deirdre looks out and sees her foster father slaughtering a young calf during the winter as there is snow on the ground. This in itself is strange because in the old faerie lore you did not slaughter animals after the Blood moon in late October or early November. Any animal or grain harvested after this time belonged to the Fay or the dead ancestors and would harm the living if they partook of it.
So Deirdre looks out at the scene and sees a raven come and start to nibble at the blood on the snow. Most people would see this as some kind of dark omen, but Deirdre sees her future lover and proclaims that she would like to have a lover like that with hair the color of a raven, lips as red as blood, and skin as white as snow. At this point one might be reminded of Snow White, and one should be. The white as snow, red as blood or rubies, and black as the raven is like a code in fairy tales. White, red, and black are the colors of the Dark goddess and of the Faerie realm. I think that Deirdre is claiming her lover to be the goddess, or rather stating her love for the goddess here.
So the symbolism has laid the hints. Deirdre is in the faerie realm. She is between and betwixt the worlds, just like Snow White was when she entered the dark forest and met the gnomes (or dwarfs if you want to call them that). She soon meets this raven haired pale skinned Marilyn Mansion looking lover named Naoise. She runs away with him and lives in some forest in Scotland for awhile and lives blissfully happy there for a moment.
Eventually they have to return to Ireland. In a nutshell, Conchobar succeeds in having Naoise killed, marries Deirdre but she is miserable and kills herself. In one account she knocks her head on a boulder as her carriage is passing it. So what is the meaning of all this tragedy? Like most myth, the meaning is multi-layered, but one meaning seems to come out at me. I think in part, this story is about the old matriarchal Bronze age goddess societies being taken over by the more Patriarchal warrior ones. I think it is trying to warn people that the way of war and Patriarchy is a road only to greed and ruin.
Deirdre is the sovereign goddess in this tale, as at that time a king was still not truly a king unless he was married to the sovereign goddess. She was the living representative of the goddess and the Earth or the land. If we are too greedy with her, if we take advantage of her, she will perish and so will our kingdoms.
Okay, so now on to my painting. It is a lot of pressure to try and paint a face that would cause the downfall of so many men. Hopefully I captured her beauty and otherworldliness here:












You can see the pencil workings of a raven that will be carrying a serpent shaped golden torque. In some accounts of the story Deirdre has a dream right before Naoise is killed of hundreds of ravens flying with bloody torques in their mouths. I think this is a strong symbol for the story as a whole. Gold and white are similar in their symbolic meaning, and I am painting the torque (which was worn around warriors necks) in the oroborus style to again symbolize the goddess.

As always, I hope to have this finished this week....we will see. I am leaving you with a photo of me in the Underworld of Faerie (or better known as Cathedral Caverns in Northern Alabama) surrounded by the energy of gnomes.

Finding Balance and Lilith

Sorry I have been incommunicado for so long around here. I am coming out of a long period of a creative dry spell that coincided with the dog days of summer. I have felt completely disconnected from my spirit and fully immersed in the physical world and the day to day lately. But as the Autumnal Equinox approached I felt the old magic starting to return. I started to paint again and started to feel the presence of Lilith. I have been working on a Lilith painting for a couple of weeks now. Lilith is a powerful ancient goddess energy. I have been working with snake energy for so long now and they have appeared over and over in my work in the last year. It is so connected with the energy of the Divine Feminine, and is what we as women are constantly working with in this present moment. It is about transmutation, and sometimes I feel like I am working overtime transmuting energies.
Women have been told for so long that they can't be too powerful. Often, as we start to finally reach the potential of our own power, we pull back. We have been taught for thousands of years to pull back. When we pull back sometimes we pull back so far we have a hard time finding that power again. Lilith is a huge symbol for this. She was a very powerful woman. She refused to submit to Adam and stood up to him, she spoke and lived her truth. For this, she was turned into a demonic witch by the Patriarchal forces that were in power.
So within the myth is the symbol of how women still today collectively fear becoming too powerful. Look at women in our world with a lot power like Hillary Clinton, Oprah, Nancy Pelosi and look at how they are portrayed by the media. I just gave a bunch of examples of powerful Liberal leaning women, but look at how Sarah Palin is portrayed in the media, and you realize it doesn't matter what her beliefs or political leanings are, a powerful woman is usually slandered repeatedly. This is what we need to transmute. We need to transmute this fear of being too powerful and the fear of what the world will do to us if we step into our place of power.
Last night during the powerful Aries full moon and Equinox, I sat in a circle with some magical sisters and felt the power of this transmutation. It is very important now more than ever for us to be in community and to draw upon each others strengths to help us reach our own potential. I feel more balanced now and aligned with the current energies.
So here is just a little sneak peek of my Lilith's face. I haven't been taking WIP pics this time. I have been so immersed in her I haven't even stopped to take pics. I have tried to capture her allure, her strength, and yet a look of fear that represents that collective fear of our own power. I still have a lot of fine details to work on, but she is getting closer to complete.



Beyond that I have just been running the kids to and from school. I recently showed at the Kentucky Showcase at Awesome Inc. in Lexington. It opened during the last Gallery Hop in town and here is little pic of me at the reception with two of my pieces.



I just cut off a bunch of hair, it was getting pretty long before. Another sign I am letting go of the old and ready for the new that is yet to come. I hope everyone else is feeling the balance return too.

The Guardians, new WIP

Well the summer is almost over and I have felt uninspired most of the time. I had to paint a couple of paintings for upcoming themed exhibits. One was for the Tomato Art Festival in East Nashville on August 14th and the other was for a traveling exhibit called "The Womanly Art" that is being put on by the Southern Indiana La Leche League. Although I was very excited to paint both of these, my inspiration was slow to come, and both works took me longer than I had originally planned. Both works are finished now and posted on my redbubble profile.
I have had another work in my mind for weeks now. I had to wait to start her until I was finished with the before mentioned works. That was slightly hard for me. This painting began to permeate my every thought. I think I learned a lesson in patience though. I felt like I let the idea grow for awhile in my womb before I finally got to birth her, and I think the work is better because of this.
The piece is about the shift of consciousness that we are all going through right now. The energy is shifting all around us, whether we realize it or not. This work carries along the themes of "I Feel Fragile Today". The energies are going through us and we feel uncomfortable because we feel we are changing, but we don't really know what is happening to us. In this work I am trying to show that it is our connection to nature that will help guide us through this change.
The Guardians is a large 2x3 foot acrylic on canvas. Here she is in the early sketch phase.


And here is a detail of her face.


Here she is with the face coming to life and a bit of color in the background.


And then I worked her face some more. This is what she looks like right now.


I started painting her yesterday and was up way too late working on her. I am feeling like I am in complete painting bliss with her. I have a lot of detail to do on her that might take me a few weeks and I have a couple of trips coming up to see family. My kids start school again, already, in about 2 weeks. My time to paint is going to really open up then. I feel the Fall will bring lots of creations.